comfort
I spent another
day sitting in my room, occasionally glancing out of the window.
The city below was bustling and lively all day. It must have been
a Saturday. By the time I reached the decision to leave the flat
it was already evening. All I could see from my window was a
number of lights: cars, buildings, street lights. The urge to go
outside had been becoming stronger over the preceeding weeks:
each day marginally more. It was too late to go out, though. The
busy night life in the city was much too loud. I would stay up
until dawn when the urge would hopefully die away. Instead, I
returned to my bed and peeled away the cover.
After an hour or so of sleep I became irritable and slid my way
to the other side of the room. I opened the cupboard, but it was
still inside. One day it won't be there. Then the relief will set
in, shortly to be replaced by the worry and the fear. Until that
day it'll rot in there.
It was around this point the urge became so strong I clambered
out of my window onto the ledge outside. I tried to shut the
window behind me, but it was still slippy after all this time.
Fearing I would be followed if I left the window open, I quickly
found my way back inside. The relief was also mild but noticable,
and maybe I would get some rest. However, I only had time to make
my way over to my corner before I felt the need to go outside
return and I picked up my hat impulsively.
It took a moment to open the door. On a wetter day the lock must
have become rusty, as it would not budge, no matter how hard I
pushed. I had to take my knife and cut around it to open the door
before I could get out. I wouldn't be needing it again anyway.
The street was surprisingly bright ater the grim stairwell. The
first thing I noticed was the noise, however. It's hard to hear
from my room, so the volume took me by surprise. The sound of the
cars, the music from some of the brighter buildings, the
screaming people. It seemed like a different world to the one I
left last time I was on this street. Of course, I knew it was I
who had changed and not them. I wandered to the left, or the
right - I can never tell - and continued until I saw a turning.
Everywhere seemed less busy than at first. People were still
around, but on the other side of the street, or running. Most
were still swelling cancerously around the loud, bright
buildings.
The turning led to a dark, narrow alleyway. Steam was rising
slowly from an unseen hole or vent. I stepped into the alley, as
I was beginning to regret leaving my room, and felt somewhat
relaxed. There was nobody about and nothing to explore. The
moment I thought this, something caught my eye. In the far corner
of the alley was a loose manhole cover. Without even giving it a
thought, I headed over to lift it. The dark below was consuming
and I became immediately drawn to it. I quickly lowered myself
downwards, climbing the ladder and allowing myself to splash into
the grime below. A quick survey of the tunnel I was in showed
little light and a number of holes in the wall. I heard something
scurry to my right.
This was more like it.
writing
© ross baker 2008